Psychological tricks in communication. How to establish communication with a man: women's tricks and NLP to help. The influence of a name on a person
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There are psychological tricks that work on a subconscious level. They help you gain the favor of your interlocutor, join a new company, or instantly calm down in a moment of stress.
website talks about the 12 most effective of them, which work 100% and will be useful in any situation.
No. 1. When several people laugh, everyone looks at the one he likes the most.
After a good joke or during a lively discussion in a group of people, everyone instinctively looks at the one he likes the most Therefore, to find out everything about relationships in a group of friends, prepare a couple of killer jokes.
No. 2. If you're nervous, chew.
Before an important conversation, speech or event that makes us nervous, we should try chewing gum or even eating something.
- No one will eat in the face of danger. Therefore, while chewing our brain thinks there is no danger and you can relax. It sends a signal that relieves nervous tension and helps you calm down.
No. 3. A closer look will help you draw out any information.
If you are not satisfied with the answer of your interlocutor or it seems to you that he is not telling you something, Just continue to silently look into his eyes.
- In such a situation, the silence for the interlocutor will become so unbearable that he will be forced to tell you literally everything just to stop it.
No. 4. Imagine that the employer is your long-time good friend.
To avoid worrying during an important exam or interview, imagine that the person opposite is your friend whom you have not seen for a long time. This will help you instantly calm down, and answering questions will be much easier.
#5: If you have to work with people a lot, put a mirror behind you.
If you often communicate with different people at work, place a small mirror behind you. You will be surprised, but many clients will behave more politely and meet you halfway more often. This is because people don't like to see themselves angry and irritated.
No. 6. If you think someone is looking at you, just yawn
Just look at this picture. You just yawned, right? Yes, yawning is incredibly contagious. It's enough to yawn and look around to understand who was watching you. The person who was looking at you will most likely yawn too.
No. 7. If you want to stop a fight, just get something to eat and stand between the fighters
No. 8. If you want to get rid of an item, then simply give it to the person while talking to him
Ask the person a personal question or get their opinion on something. During the response, the brain will be so busy that everything else will happen at the level of reflexes. In such a situation, most people will accept anything from your hands without thinking at all.
Some psychological tricks that will allow you to make people feel or even act in the way you want. Effective psychological tricks.
We would like to present to our readers sixteen interesting “life hacks” that can make people feel or even act in a certain way. Advice can be very useful, but you can only be convinced of this through your own experience. So it's worth a try!
1. When a group of people laughs, everyone instinctively looks at the one he likes the most (or at the one he would like to consider as a close person).
2. When you have to do something especially responsible or requires concentration, in a word, something that usually makes us nervous, it’s worth trying to chew gum or even eat something. This is associated on a subconscious level with a feeling of security, since we usually eat when nothing threatens us.
3. If someone is angry with us, and we manage to remain calm, then the anger will probably only escalate. However, later this person will become ashamed of his behavior.
4. If a person answers a question only partially, or too evasively, you should not ask again. It's better to just silently look into his eyes. He will most likely understand that this answer did not satisfy the interlocutor, and will continue talking.
5. Facial expressions, it turns out, can not only be a consequence of feelings, but also cause these very feelings. Feedback works almost flawlessly, so those who want to feel happy should smile as often and widely as possible.
6. It is better not to use phrases such as “I think” or “it seems to me” in speech or writing. They go without saying, but they give the words a tinge of uncertainty.
7. Before an important interview, it is useful to imagine that we have a long-standing close friendship with the interviewer. It is almost always up to us how to perceive a situation, and our calmness and ease can be transmitted to the interlocutor.
8. If we manage to force ourselves to be sincerely happy when meeting someone, the next time we meet, this person himself will be glad to see us. (By the way, dogs do this trick on us all the time).
9. People tend to agree to a smaller favor after refusing us a larger one.
10. Many symptoms of stress coincide with manifestations of joyful excitement (heavy breathing, rapid heartbeat, etc.). If you convince yourself that the situation is actually a stimulus, and not a threat at all, depression will definitely give way to excitement.
11. Many of us have been present at a meeting in a situation where we had reason to expect sharp and unpleasant criticism from someone. Under such circumstances, it is best to sit next to this person. Practice shows that he will lose all his ardor and intention to attack, or at least will be much softer.
12. Most people do not distinguish magnificence from simple self-confidence. If you learn to show confidence in your entire appearance, people will be drawn to us.
13. Good advice for those who work in the service sector: hang a mirror behind you. People will behave much more correctly, because no one likes to see themselves irritated and angry.
14. A very useful habit is to notice the color of a person’s eyes when meeting someone. He will unconsciously feel attracted to us due to slightly extended eye contact.
15. When going on a first date, it is very wise to take your partner to some exciting place. Subsequently, positive emotions from this meeting will be associated with us.
16. A lot of useful information can be obtained by paying attention to the position of the interlocutor’s legs. If, say, the toes of his shoes are pointing in the opposite direction from us, this usually means that the person wants to end the conversation as quickly as possible.
It often happens that we need to win over a person, influence his attitude to the situation, environment, or difficulties that have arisen. How to do it? Today we will talk about 10 fairly simple but incredibly effective ways to influence a person. They are not new, and some use these methods subconsciously, others have learned and noticed that certain behavior allows you to influence people, and for those who are just about to master this technique, our article today.
All methods have been used repeatedly by me, have been tested by thousands of other people, and have been proven by scientists. Therefore, there is no doubt about their effectiveness and efficiency. It is enough just to know how and in what situation to apply this or that psychological trick. If you doubt yourself and think that you won’t succeed... I recommend reading the article:
The techniques of influence and manipulation that will be discussed today will be useful if you want to win over an investor, a lender, or establish or strengthen relationships with partners, suppliers or buyers. In general, anyone who wants to run a business more competently and successfully simply must understand the intricacies of psychology and be able to influence people.
Ask for a favor
Ask people for favors, and thereby you can win them over. This effect is called the Benjamin Franklin effect. One day, the future president of the United States needed to gain the favor of one person who didn’t even want to greet him. Then Franklin resorted to a trick. He very politely, with all the culture and mannerism, asked him for a favor - to lend him a very rare book for a few days. Then he also politely thanked him and left. Previously, the man had not even greeted Franklin, but after this incident their relationship began to improve, and over time they became friends. 
This psychological trick worked a thousand years ago, Franklin actively used it, and it is still relevant today. The whole secret is that if a person has already done you a favor once, he will be more willing to do it again, and with each new favor your relationship will only strengthen and your trust will grow. Human psychology is such that he thinks that if you ask for something, then you will respond to his request and help in a difficult situation.
Demand more
This technique has an interesting name - forehead against the door. You must ask a person for more than you expect to receive from him. You can ask to do something incomprehensible, ridiculous, a little stupid. There is a high probability that such a request will be refused, but this is exactly what you need. After a few days, feel free to ask for exactly what you wanted from the very beginning. The feeling of awkwardness and discomfort that will arise due to the fact that you were refused the first time will force the person to accept the request and help.
A very interesting psychological trick, and it works in 95% of cases. Of course, there are very stubborn people with whom it is difficult to find an approach, but it still exists, you just need to be more inventive.
Call the person by name
In many of his books, the famous psychologist and writer Dale Carnegie notes that if you want a more loyal attitude towards yourself, then be sure to call the person by name. This psychological technique is incredibly helpful in influencing a person.
For every person, his name is like a kind of spell, a wonderful combination of sounds, and a part of his whole life. Therefore, when someone pronounces it, he becomes one step closer, receives favor, trust and a loyal attitude towards himself. 
The use of a person’s social status or titles in speech has a similar effect. If you want to make friends with someone, then call him a friend, speak calmly and measuredly. Over time, this person will also see you as a friend and begin to trust you. If you want to work for someone, then call him boss, thereby showing your recognition and willingness to follow his instructions. Words have incredible power, and correctly chosen and timely words can change any situation and any attitude towards you.
Flatter
It would seem that flattery is the most obvious psychological trick that can influence a person. But it's not that simple. If you are going to flatter, then do it sincerely, because they will immediately see the falsity, and such flattery will do more harm than good.
Scientists have proven that flattery works best with those who have high self-esteem and are confident in achieving their goals. If you flatter such people, you will only confirm their opinion of yourself and feed their growing ego.
And if you are going to flatter someone who has low self-esteem, then do not expect a good result. Sometimes such actions can cause a negative attitude, and vice versa, spoil the opinion of you. Therefore, be careful if you are going to tell someone how good he is. 
Reflect
This method is better known as mimicry. Many of you use it on a subconscious level, without even suspecting that in this way they gain the trust of your interlocutor. You copy behavior, gestures, manner of speaking and explaining yourself. But if you use this technique consciously, it will be many times more effective. 
Like attracts like, and people really like to communicate with those who are similar to them and share their opinions and vision of the world. Therefore, if you use mimicry, you will very quickly gain the favor and trust of your interlocutor. A very interesting fact: even some time after the conversation, the person whose actions were reflected is more loyal to all other interlocutors who had nothing to do with the conversation.
Take advantage of weaknesses
Under the influence of alcohol or fatigue, the protective barriers of our brain weaken. It is in such a situation that a person is most susceptible to influence. If you need to ask for something or get approval for certain actions, then a tired person, in most cases, will give the go-ahead, as long as you don’t touch him or ask a lot of questions. The answer, most likely, will be something like: “Yes, we’ll definitely do it tomorrow. Remind me in the morning.” But in the morning you will achieve what you want, because you already received preliminary consent yesterday.
Offer something that is hard to refuse
This technique is the opposite of the one we discussed in the second paragraph. If there you start with a big request, get a refusal and move on to the main one, then here it’s the other way around. You need to ask for a small favor, one that will be hard to refuse. Then move on to more requests. Over time, the person will begin to trust you, and you will be able to ask for what you wanted to get in the first place.
Scientists conducted one experiment. In supermarkets they asked people to sign a petition to protect forests and protect the environment. Quite a simple request, right? Most completed it without any problems. Then they asked to buy some trinket, and emphasized that all the money raised would go specifically to protecting forests. Of course, many complied with this request.
Recently I myself fell for such manipulation, but knowing about this method, I was able to resist. A nice girl stopped me on the street and asked me to answer a few questions:
1. How do you feel about poetry?
2. Do you think the state supports young writers enough?
3. Are you a fairly generous person?
4. Buy a book for 200 rubles, and all the proceeds will go to the development of the club of young and promising people.
Look how clearly and beautifully everything is done. Easy questions that can be answered in 1 word or short phrase, all logically connected and correctly structured. Of course, I refused to buy the book, because I understand that this is manipulation and a way to sell me something that is completely unnecessary. But many people, having answered that they are generous people, cannot then refuse and not buy a book that they will not read.
Know how to listen
If you want to win over your interlocutor, you need to be able to not only speak beautifully and clearly, but also listen carefully. When you hear an idea in a conversation with which you fundamentally disagree, you should not immediately express your thought. This way you will provoke a small conflict, and a piece of doubt will ignite inside. If you still decide to express your opinion, then first try to express agreement with part of what was said, and only then continue.
Repeat after your interlocutor
A very, very subtle and effective way. It is in my favor, and its skillful use promises you success in any negotiations. If your goal is to achieve understanding, trust and favor with your interlocutor, then show that you understand him, paraphrase what was said and agree with the voiced thought.
Psychologists call this method reflective listening. It is thanks to him that the psychologist builds a trusting relationship with the patient, easily learns about his problems and concerns, and can better understand and help the person faster.
Using this technique, you can influence anyone, but it is advisable that the person already has a good or neutral attitude towards you. By paraphrasing and repeating his thoughts, you will make it clear that you listened carefully and remembered everything the interlocutor said. It’s nice to be treated like this; trust instantly grows. 
Nod
What is the simplest movement that makes it clear that you agree with what was said? That's right, nod of head. By listening to a person and nodding your head from time to time, you give the interlocutor’s subconscious a certain signal, which says that you agree with everything that was said, listen carefully and analyze.
When several people in a group laugh, everyone instinctively looks at the one they like best. Or a person whom he would like to consider close.
2. If you are nervous and have a responsible task ahead of you, chew gum. This way you can calm down, because subconsciously the moment of eating is associated with safety.
3. If someone yells at you, remain calm. Perhaps this will anger your interlocutor even more, but after that he will experience a strong feeling of guilt for his behavior.
4. If the interlocutor’s answer does not suit you or you feel that it is incomplete, do not ask again. Just look carefully into the person's eyes. Then he will be forced to continue the conversation.
5. It turns out that not only emotions influence facial expressions, but also vice versa. So if you want to feel happy, smile as wide as possible. As a result, you will smile quite sincerely.
6. Where possible, try not to start sentences with “I think” and “It seems to me.” This is implied in your speech, but sometimes shows unnecessary uncertainty.
7. Before an important interview, imagine that the interviewer is your old friend. This will make you feel freer and worry less.
8. If you learn to express a little more joy when meeting someone, you will eventually become genuinely glad to see that person.
9. People tend to give you less if they have previously denied you something more.
10. The physiological expression of stress is in many ways similar to the symptoms of joyful excitement: heavy breathing, rapid heartbeat, etc. If you can look at a stressful situation as a challenge, the negative effect of stress will decrease.
11. Most often, people do not distinguish simple self-confidence from the fact that you really understand something. If you show with all your appearance that you are confident in your actions, people will be drawn to you.
12. If you have to work a lot with people, place a mirror behind you. Many clients will behave more politely - after all, no one wants to see themselves angry and irritated.
13. If you expect harsh criticism from someone in a meeting, try to sit next to that person. In this case, he will most likely soften and will not be able to give you a beating with the same force that he could feel if he were at some distance from you.
14. It is better to spend your first date in a place where you can get more positive emotions. Subsequently, pleasant experiences will be associated with you.
15. When meeting someone, try to determine to yourself the color of the interlocutor’s eyes. Making eye contact increases the likelihood of feeling mutual attraction.
Knowledge of the mechanism of operation of tricks will help a business person to effectively neutralize them in various situations of polemics and disputes, which will allow him not to become an object of manipulation by immoral opponents. Learn to recognize psychological tricks being used against you.
Psychological tricks mean such unacceptable (from a moral point of view) methods of argument, discussion, polemics, which are based on psychological influence on the interlocutor in order to introduce him into a state of irritation, play on his feelings of pride, shame, and use manifestations and other subtle features of the human psyche.
· "Annoying your opponent" , that is, removing him from a state of mental balance with ridicule, accusations, reproaches and other means until the interlocutor becomes irritated and makes an erroneous statement that is unfavorable for his position.
· “Use of unclear words and terms.” This trick can give, on the one hand, the impression of the significance of the problem being discussed, the weight of the arguments presented, and a high level of professionalism and competence. On the other hand, the use of incomprehensible, scientific terms by the initiator of the trick can cause the opposite reaction on the part of the opponent in the form of irritation, alienation, or withdrawal into psychological defense. However, the trick succeeds when the interlocutor is either embarrassed to ask again about something, or pretends that he understands what is being said and accepts the arguments presented.
· “Stunned by the pace of the discussion” - when communication uses a fast pace of speech and the opponent who perceives the arguments is not able to “process” them. In this case, the rapidly changing stream of thoughts simply stuns the interlocutor and puts him in a state of discomfort.
· "Transferring the dispute into the realm of speculation." The essence of the trick is to take the polemic into the direction of denunciation and force the opponent to either justify himself or explain something that has nothing to do with the essence of the problem being discussed. An example of a trick would be a statement like “You say this because your position requires it, but in fact you think differently.”
· "Mind reading for suspicion." The point of the trick is to use the “mind reading” option to divert all sorts of suspicions from yourself. An example is a statement like “Perhaps you think I’m trying to persuade you? So you are wrong!.
· “Referring to “higher interests” without deciphering them.” The trick is to express an idea containing a hint that if the opponent, for example, continues to be intractable in the dispute, then this may affect the interests of those who are extremely undesirable to upset or unbalance. An example of this trick as a variant of the “stick argument” would be an appeal like: “Do you understand what you are encroaching on when you do not agree with the arguments presented?”
· “Judgment like “This is banal!”.” The main idea of the trick is to force the opponent to react to the unambiguous and unsubstantiated assessment, which really does not contain any arguments. Indeed, the opponent’s reaction to a remark like “This is all nonsense”, “This is nonsense”, “This is common knowledge”, “This is banal” quite predictable. Having heard such an assessment, few people can resist the temptation to emotionally prove that this is not so. To induce justification is the insidious design of the trick.
· "Carthage must be destroyed" - this is the name of the following psychological trick, the idea of which is to “accustom” the opponent to any thought. "Carthage must be destroyed"- this is exactly how the speech in the Roman Senate of Consul Cato the Elder ended every time. The trick is to gradually and purposefully accustom the interlocutor to some unsubstantiated statement. Then, after repeated repetition, this statement is declared obvious.
· “Understatement with a hint of special motives.” The essence of this trick is to demonstrate some meaningful understatement, to hint that in this case much more can be said, but this is not done for any special reasons.
· "Reference to authority." Let us remember that this trick only works if the authority being referred to is truly an authority. Otherwise, the trick may have the opposite effect. Interesting data is provided by experts in assessing who the interlocutor trusts most. In the first place, of course, is trust in yourself. In second place is trust in some third party, and an authoritative one at that. Finally, the one he trusts least is his opponent.
· “Accusation of utopian ideas.” The trick is designed to force the partner to justify himself, to look for arguments against the accusation that his idea is unrealistic. Thanks to reasoning in defense of the proclaimed arguments, in fact, there is an avoidance of the main problem of the discussion. All this, as in many other cases, is extremely beneficial to the initiator of the trick.
· "Flattery or compliment." Flattering or complimentary turns of speech are not inferior to any other trick in terms of the power of their impact on the human psyche. This is primarily due to the fact that, by influencing a person’s subconscious, they are able to sweeten the opponent’s ears, weaken criticism of themselves, and create the much-needed atmosphere of recognition of human merits. "We are all sensitive to compliments"- this is a completely fair thought expressed by A. Lincoln. But if a compliment can evoke pleasant feelings in the interlocutor, then flattery by its nature can provoke a reverse reaction. What is the essential difference between these concepts: “flattery” and “compliment”? Let's look at this in more detail. Let's start with a simple everyday example: in the phrase “How sweet and charming you are!” a flexible and insightful mind will involuntarily hear flattery, that is, a seemingly straightforward, simple emphasis on a person’s merits. However, in a complimentary statement like “I understand why your husband is always in a hurry to get home” there is a guess, a reflection on the merits of a woman, perhaps, and not only in her appearance.
To give a more complete description of flattery, let us cite? a few statements about her. “Who is a flatterer?- writes the French moral philosopher La Bruyère, - It is a flexible and forgiving mind that smiles with your every breath, screams with your every word and applauds your every action.” And why not quote these wonderful lines here:
Be careful when you hear flattery
Her weapons are evil and revenge,
Never trust her.
No wonder people say:
Fly away with a very warm gaze,
Yes, a heart made of ice.
· "False shame." This trick consists of using a false argument against an opponent, which he is able to “swallow” without much objection. The trick can be successfully used in various kinds of judgments, discussions and disputes, including pedagogical ones. Type calls “You know, of course, that science has now established...” or “Of course you know that a decision was recently made...” or “Of course you’ve read about...” lead the opponent into a state of “false shame”, when he is ashamed to say publicly about ignorance of the things they are talking about. In these cases, most of the people against whom this trick is used nod or pretend to remember what is being said, thereby recognizing all these, sometimes false, arguments.
· “False shame followed by reproach.” This trick, like many others, is aimed not at the essence of the problem being discussed, but at the personality of the interlocutor, belittling the opponent, humiliating his dignity, etc. An example of a trick is the statement “What, you didn’t read this?” followed by the addition of a reproach like “So what should I talk to you about then?” The subsequent actions of the initiator of the trick are obvious: he either ends the discussion (which, in fact, is part of his plans), or continues to skillfully divert the discussion of the problem.
· "Belittling by irony." This trick is effective when the dispute is unprofitable for some reason. You can disrupt the discussion of a problem and get away from the discussion by belittling your opponent with irony like “Sorry, but you are saying things that are beyond my understanding.” Usually in such cases, the one against whom this trick is directed begins to feel a feeling of dissatisfaction with what was said and, trying to soften his position, makes mistakes, but of a different nature.
· "Demonstration of resentment." This trick is also aimed at derailing the argument, since a statement like “Who do you actually take us for?” clearly demonstrates to the partner that the opposite side cannot continue the discussion, as he experiences a feeling of obvious dissatisfaction, and most importantly, resentment for some ill-considered actions of the opponent.
· "The authority of the statement." With the help of this trick, the psychological significance of your own arguments is significantly increased. This can be effectively done through witnessing such as “I tell you with authority”. Such a turn of phrase is usually perceived by the partner as a clear signal of increasing the significance of the arguments being expressed, and therefore as a determination to firmly defend one’s position in the dispute.
· "The frankness of the statement." In this trick, the emphasis is on a special trust of communication, which is demonstrated using phrases such as, for example: “I’ll tell you straight (frankly, honestly) now...” At the same time, it seems as if everything that was said before was not completely direct, open or honest. As a rule, such turns of speech increase attention to what will be said by the initiator of the trick, and subsequently encourage the partner to respond in the same vein, that is, just as openly, honestly and directly.
· "Double-entry bookkeeping". This trick is most popular in almost all business communication situations. Its essence lies in the fact that the same reasons and arguments are considered convincing when they are expressed in defense of one’s position, and extremely unacceptable when expressed by an opponent. This technique corresponds to the well-known principle of the so-called Hottentot morality (Hottentots are a people in South Africa), according to which everything that corresponds to one’s own desires and views is considered true (true), and everything that contradicts them is considered false by other faiths.
· "Imaginary inattention." The name of this trick already speaks about its essence: they “forget”, and sometimes deliberately do not notice the inconvenient and dangerous arguments of the opponent. Not noticing something that can cause harm is the idea of the trick.
· “Imaginary misunderstanding and miscommunication.” The “cunning” of this trick lies in misinterpreting the opponent’s arguments and arguments, that is, deliberately, for the sake of, of course, one’s own interests, presenting the partner’s argument in a distorted form. This is easy to do with the help of well-known listening techniques, such as “Listening-paraphrasing” and “Listening-summarizing”. The essence of the first technique is to formulate your partner’s thoughts in your own words, but deliberately distorting the information, using phrases such as: “So, you believe...”, “In other words, you believe...”, “In your opinion...” etc. The essence of the second technique is to give the interlocutor a signal that you caught the entire message, and not some part of it (what was beneficial or wanted to be heard). In other words, with the help of summarizing, i.e. combining the partner’s thoughts into a single semantic field, using phrases like: “To summarize what you said...”, “So, as far as I understand, your main point boils down to the fact that...”, you can consciously change the meaning of the ideas expressed by your partner and thereby realize the main idea of the trick.
· "Flattering turns of phrase." The peculiarity of this trick is to “sprinkle the opponent with the sugar of flattery” and hint to him how much he can win or, on the contrary, lose if he persists in his disagreement. An example of a flattering turn of phrase could be: “As an intelligent person, you cannot help but see that...”.
· The name of this trick corresponds to a famous old aphorism. Let us recall its essence. In past centuries, when planning a very important military offensive operation, incompetent “parquet” military leaders seemingly took everything into account: the time of day, the nature of the maneuver, and the route of movement of the troops. However, the calculation was carried out exclusively on the map, without taking into account the location. In a real situation, the regiments had to move not across flat terrain, but to overcome all sorts of obstacles, in particular ravines. As a result of this, the troops were unable to reach the attack lines in time and were themselves attacked and subsequently defeated. This is how it happened: “It was smooth on paper, but they forgot about the ravines.” The use of this trick in a dispute, i.e., saying that everything that the partner is talking about is good only in theory, but unacceptable in practice, will force him to prove the opposite with impromptu arguments, which ultimately can heat up the atmosphere of discussion and bring discussion leads to mutual attacks and accusations.
· "Relying on a past statement." The main thing in this trick is to draw the opponent's attention to his past statement, which contradicts his reasoning in this dispute, and demand an explanation about this. Such explanations can (if it is beneficial) lead the discussion to a dead end or provide information about the nature of the opponent’s changed views, which is also important for the initiator of the trick.
· "Labeling" The main purpose of the trick is to provoke a response to the reproaches, accusations or insults expressed. The natural human reaction to accusations like: “You are a deceiver”, “You are a scoundrel”, “You are a scoundrel” The point is to respond in kind, that is, to respond with a remark: “I hear from someone like me”, “I’m like that myself” etc. After the exchange of such “courtesy”, naturally, there is no longer any need to talk about any kind of confidential and constructive discussion.
· “Replacing truth with utility.” This trick is based on an important and quite obvious rule: when the benefit is clearly visible, it is difficult to discern the truth. Thus, the purpose of the trick is to convince the arguer that he owes his well-being to precisely the thesis that he is challenging. A statement like: “Haven’t you ever wondered how much it will cost to implement your idea?”
· "Linguistic cosmetics". The essence of the trick is that the same idea is expressed in different ways, giving it the desired shade. “Cosmetics” in this case can be different: from light, elegant, enveloping the object of thought like a thin veil, to excessive, when the “second house” where a given thought moves in no longer has anything in common with the “first house”. As with a number of other tricks, this technique cannot be used effectively without the listening techniques described above (“Paraphrasing” and “Summarizing”).
· "Visible support" The uniqueness of this trick is to take the floor from your opponent and come to his aid, that is, begin to bring new arguments and evidence in defense of his thesis. This help is necessary only for the appearance (appearance) of support for the enemy, because the purpose of the trick is the imaginary support of the opponent, aimed at reassuring him with consent, diverting attention, and also weakening his psychological confrontation. After the enemy loses his vigilance and those around him appreciate the level of awareness of the problem on the part of his opponent, the initiator of the trick delivers a powerful counterattack, known among psychologists as a technique “Yes, but...” which reveals the shortcomings of the thesis put forward by the opponent, demonstrates its inferiority. Thus, it seems that the opposite side is familiar with the thesis being proven by the opponent more thoroughly than he himself, and after carefully studying the problem, he became convinced of the inconsistency of this thesis and the entire system of argumentation brought by the opponent.
· “Reducing a fact (argument) to a personal opinion.” The purpose of this trick is to accuse the communication partner that the arguments he gives in defense of his thesis or in refutation of a disputed thought are nothing more than just a personal opinion, which, like the opinion of any other person, can be wrong. Address your interlocutor with the words: “What you are saying now is just your personal opinion.”- will involuntarily set him up for objections, generate a desire to challenge the expressed opinion regarding the arguments he has given. If the interlocutor succumbs to this trick, the subject of controversy, contrary to his wishes and to please the intention of the initiator of the trick, shifts towards a discussion of a completely different problem, where the opponent will prove that the arguments he has expressed are not only his personal opinion. Practice confirms that if this happens, then the trick was a success.
· "Selection of Acceptable Arguments." This trick is based on the conscious selection of one-sided information to prove any idea and operating during a discussion or argument only with this information.
· "Rabulistics". This trick means deliberately distorting the meaning of an opponent's statements, presenting them as funny or strange. For example, a remark like “Your colleague has agreed to the point that...” forces the perceiver to react to this information in a special way. In other words, any exposure to rabulism puts the interlocutor into a state of far from constructive mood when discussing the problem, which, in turn, can cause an extremely negative defensive reaction in the form of indignation, accusations, or refusal to discuss.
· "Trojan horse". The essence of the trick is as follows:
a) the arguer, using the already well-known method of “visible support”, goes over to the enemy’s side in the dispute and begins to provide additional arguments in defense of his opponent’s thesis;
b) being “accepted on the enemy’s side” (since it is flattering for the opposite side to listen to opponents’ speeches in defense of their own position), the person using the trick skillfully distorts the main thesis and arguments of the partner beyond recognition;
c) then he begins to ardently defend this already distorted position, which has nothing in common with the original one. As a result, when the author of a compromised thesis comes to his senses, it is already too late, since the enemy has managed to deal a “death blow” to both the thesis and the authority of the author.
· "Boomerang Method". This method is especially effective after using the “Visible Support” trick, but only half-implemented, i.e. when, having gone over to the opponent’s side, the initiator of the trick notes only the positive, positive aspects of the proposal (thesis) expressed by his partner. Then, introducing the rule “like begets like,” he invites the interlocutor to speak out about the positive aspects of his own judgment. The enemy usually does this without much difficulty, since he has just received praise for his proposal. Having skillfully achieved such response actions on the part of the opponent, the one using the trick begins to successfully manipulate the opponent’s just given arguments about the advantages and positive aspects of his project. The main thing at this final stage is: firstly, to keep your partner’s attention until the end of the discussion on the positive that he himself found in his opponent’s arguments; secondly, do not give the opposite side the opportunity to turn the discussion into the direction of discussing the positive aspects of their ideas and proposals.
· "Silence." The desire to deliberately hide information from the interlocutor is the most often used! trick in any form of discussion. When competing with a business partner, it is much easier to simply hide information from him than to dispute it in a polemic. Skill wisely! hiding something from your opponent is the most important component of the art of diplomacy. In this regard, we note that the professionalism of a polemicist consists in skillfully evading the truth without resorting to lies.
· "Half-truth." This may mean mixing lies and reliable information; one-sided reporting of facts; inaccurate and vague wording of the provisions under discussion; links to sources with a disclaimer like: “I don’t remember who said...”; distortion of a reliable statement with the help of value judgments, etc. The “Half-truth” trick is most often used, as practice shows, when it is necessary to avoid an undesirable turn in the dispute, when there are no reliable arguments, but one must certainly challenge the opponent, when necessary, contrary to common sense meaning, to persuade someone to a certain conclusion.
· "Lie". This trick, as you know, aims to hide the real state of affairs and convey to your partner false information, which can be presented in the form of false documents, links to sources, experiments that no one has ever conducted, etc. In real life In life, perhaps, there will not be a person who has not lied at least once. Let's not forget that in everyday business communication, each person is only as truthful as he is smart.
· "The carrot and stick method." The intent of this trick is manifested in problematic rhetorical questions asked to the opponent like: “What is better for you to have: your own opinion or everything else?”, “What is more preferable for you: to object or not to get hurt?”. In other words, the threatening nature of this trick forces the enemy to make a choice: remain principled, but suffer at the same time, or accept conditions, sometimes unacceptable, but at the same time be safe from threats, blackmail, and sometimes physical violence. The special meaning of this morally unacceptable trick can be demonstrated by an interesting example from M. Puzo’s famous novel “The Godfather,” where one of the characters openly shares the idea that a kind word and a gun can do much more than just a kind word.
· “Forcing a strictly unambiguous answer.” The main thing in this trick is to firmly and decisively demand that your opponent give an unambiguous answer: “Tell me directly: “yes” or “no”?”, that is, consciously force him not to a dialectical answer (“and... and”), but to an alternative one (“either... or”). Experience confirms that this trick is usually resorted to when the opponent’s detailed answer is extremely undesirable. It should be noted that the trick is most effective in communicating with a poorly educated opponent, since in most cases it will be perceived as a manifestation of integrity on the part of the partner.
· “What do you have against it?” The essence of the trick is not to prove your stated thesis, that is, not to give reasons and arguments in its defense, but to offer (even demand) to refute it: “What exactly do you have against it?” In the case when the opponent falls for the trick, he begins to criticize the position put forward, and the dispute (as planned by the initiator of the trick) begins to be conducted regarding the opponent’s counter-arguments given. Thus, the one using the trick deliberately avoids proving his own thesis and concentrates general attention on the opponent’s counter-arguments.
· "Multiple questions." This trick consists of asking your opponent not just one question, but several, different questions that are not compatible with each other. What happens next depends on the answers: either they are accused of not understanding the essence of the problem, or that the opponent did not fully answer the questions, was misleading, or evaded answering.
